The Ultimate 7-Point Plan to Surviving Glastonbury in One Piece

May 3, 2016

You’ve done it! You've beaten the rabble and secured an oh-so-elusive Glastonbury ticket. Take a moment to bask in how glorious it is to be you right now and let that warm sense of accomplishment wash over.

Ok, that’s enough – it’s time to get practical. Before you can become King, Queen or even a lowly Viscount of the festival, you’ll need to stock up on a few essential items.

Look, we at Travioor don’t want to tell you what to do, and we know we’re not your real parents, but we do care about you having the greatest possible time… so, we’ve put together this handy list of indispensables for the optimum Glasto experience. 

1. The Tent

Friends in a camping zone at a festival looking for a spot to pitch their tent.

Obviously, there are some essentials that are more essential than others, so let’s start with the most basic requirement – shelter. Sleep (and privacy) will be in short supply during this five day session, so it’s worth investing in a tent that A) can stand up to the elements, B) retains heat while staying ventilated, and C) can comfortably fit you in. 

Whether you go for fancy or value, ensure the tent has two layers (non-touching layers, unless you like inner wall sweat), a stitched-in groundsheet (to protect from any unwanted guests – those of the insect variety anyway), and is big enough for you and your baggage (think of it as an extra person when deciding between the one and two man options).

It’s like what those Pampers adverts have been preaching for all these years; a dry you is a happy you. You’ll find a great range of quality tents at outdoorgear.co.uk.

2. The Equipment

Camping equipment including foldable chairs, a blanket and a tent, set up for a festival.

Now your pad is sorted, let’s talk equipment. By this I mean a pillow, mat or mattress, and deck chair – anything that keeps your body from the cold, unrelenting ground.

A balled up t-shirt does cost less, but a blow-up pillow is a life-saver after a full day rocking out to your favourite bands. Bring an inflatable mattress for a slice of the good life, yet they are awkward and heavy. So if you’re short on space, strength or effort, a roll-up mat makes for a lighter alternative.

And when it comes to the deck chair dilemma, you’ll be spending a good chunk of time kumbaya-ing and whatnot in the campsite, so a foldable chair is well worth the extra weight. Sure, other people will bring one that you can probably use every now and then, but don’t be that guy. 

3. The Hygiene

Camping showers.

While usual standards of hygiene are downgraded at Glastonbury, that doesn’t mean you should live in complete squalor. When it comes to staying fresh, think efficiency with your wash bag. Wet-wipes, hand sanitiser, toilet roll, toothpaste, toothbrush, sun cream, vitamins, re-hydration sachets, pain-killers and plasters are a given - but add on your own lotions and potions*. It’s either this or spend the morning finding/queuing for the showers.

*Not a drug endorsement 

4. The Food

An open bag of crisps.

Food should be fresh, nutritious and without artificial ingredients, right? Not at Glastonbury. While you’ll have access to delicious options to chow down on, your bread and butter (so to speak) are the snacks in your bag.

Think tinned fruit, tinned beans, tinned spaghetti, tinned tuna, tinned steak… ok we made that last one up but you get the idea. Oh, and crisps, lot of delicious, salty (to replace what the alcohol takes away #science), light crisps. Just don’t forget the can opener.

5. The Booze/Hooch/Swill/Gargle/Moonshine/Grog

Friends sitting on the grass at a festival enjoying a few beers.

While you don’t have to drink to have a good time, and those that do should practice caution while doing so, most people will agree that keeping the supplies stocked is a very important responsibility.

General rule of thumb is to stock up because once it’s gone, it’s gone, and you’re left in a world of £7 pints and equally pricey sachets of questionable wine. Yet, you’re bound by how much you can carry, so replace any glass bottles with plastic and use the buddy system to carry the slabs of cans. Forget the obvious and accurate comparison with an elderly lady doing her ‘big shop’, if you can get your hands on a trolley it will improve your life and happiness immeasurably.

6. The Style

Two girls lying in a tent at a festival with their wellies on.

Festivals provide an ideal setting to express your personal style and wear that gorgeous flower headband that HR once called ‘inappropriate for the work place’. But you won’t be at Glastonbury, will you Carol?!

Anyway, the last thing we want to do is rob you of your look, but this is England we’re talking about here. And the English weather should be treated the same as a vindictive teacher/colleague/boss trying to trip you up at every stage. Meaning, you need to prepare for every eventuality. And this means layers. 

Crank out the mac and get yourself a decent (and obviously stylish) pair of wellies. Don’t forget to pair them with thick socks to avoid the always unpleasant ‘welly-rash”.

7. The Extras

A girl looking at her phone at a festival.

This bit might as well be called ‘And the rest…’ but every one of the following bonus items will substantially improve your quality of life at Glastonbury;

Portable Phone Charger – for Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter… oh and for emergencies too.

Large Collapsible Water Containereasily transportable way to stay hydrated and slay even the mightiest of hangovers.

Earplugs – Campsites can be noisy places, prone to heated debate, guttural snoring and horrendous renditions of Wonderwall by the guy who sees his guitar as ‘an extension of myself’. Enter: Earplugs.

Duct Tape – Rivalling the iPhone for the most useful product of all time expect with greater longevity, a roll of duct tape will get you out of many a jam while on site.

Cooking Equipment – Swerve the stalls and save a few quid by cooking up you own feast. Sure a disposable BBQ will suffice, but if you want something more reliable and withstanding there are some neat little stoves available online for the cost of a couple of festival-priced bacon sarnies.  

Lighter – Man creating fire was a momentous landmark in the evolution of humankind, as a campsite living is as primal as it gets for many of us, having a lighter to hand in a good idea. For light, heat and of course when the slow ballads come on.

 

From all of us at Travioor, have an amazing time at Glastonbury and we’d love to hear from you on the items you can’t live without at a festival - to @Travioor on Twitter.

Graham McEnroe Four words to sum up Graham? Bad At Writing Bios. Luckily, a suitcase full of publishing experience, a battered passport and an eye for a flowery metaphor make him an adept travel writer.